I went into a place to get married to DR, but was told he had gone and that I would be marrying Tom Cruise. No one answered when I asked ‘why?’.
Tom met me and told me we had a wedding planner. A big cloud appeared and the wedding planner cut himself out of it. Everything the wedding planner guy said, Tom Cruise would repeat it, only loudly while grabbing my face.
Wedding Planner Guy: I’m thinking hotels and glamour..
Tom: GLAMOUR *Squeezes my face* HOTEL!
WPG: Lots of canapes and bubbles..
I was all ‘PLEASE TOM, CALM DOWN' and he was all 'YEAH! CANAPES!’.
My dad strolled in to say there were no tables. He was very upset at the lack of tables. He got into the cloud and zipped it up.
My dogs were my dogs except they weren’t.
Michael Jackson told me he’d sing a song to our first dance and I asked him if he was sure, and was he not dead? And he leaned in anD whispered “Yes”.
I woke up BECAUSE THAT WAS TERRIFYING.
An angry red haired man forced me to hold broken glass and squeeze it til my hands started bleeding more than a True Blood vampire with a stake through its chest. I called the police who told me to eat said glass. I hung up.
I was the spokeswoman for giant pretzels.
Was given a puppy. Woke up crying with joy.
Was woken up about 20 mins or so ago - it’s 2.50am here. The tent was loud with rain hitting the roof and suddenly flashes of lightning lit everything up followed by the inevitable rumble of thunder. It was pretty cool.
We cycled 42km today in scorching heat. Aren’t folks supposed to put ON weight on holiday? Has DR actually taken me to some weird fat camp where I sweat a lot and then end the day with wine? And there I was thinking I’d hate any kind of organised activity.
Side note - my bum is sore.